Paul McCartney
Memory Almost Full
Paul-bloody-chipmunk-faced McCartney, the smug bastard. Why won’t he just go away? He must realise that he is totally unnecessary. He wasn’t happy being in two of the most overrated bands in history... Actually, no: the Beatles were overrated, Wings were just awful. Every time I see him I want to break his thumbs. Au’ right Maca? Snap snap. I wonder if I could convince one of those Make-A-Wish kids to ask for that?
So the man who got famous ruining John Lennon songs is still pumping out music for lifts. “She makes me feel glad / I want her so bad/ My heart is beating madly for her/ If you ask me why I’m not gona lie/ I have to say I adore her.” Actual lyrics those. Good eh? Well no. And neither were ‘Eleanor Rigby,’ ‘Hey Jude’ or that Ooobla thing. Horrible lyricist, always was. The only interesting thing about Sir Paul is that nobody seems to realise he’s actually quite shit. It’s those hypnotic thumbs, I tell you.
Anyway the record, Memory Almost Full. Well, the best song on it is ‘Dance Tonight,’ the single that’s out at the moment with the chirping and mandolin. And it’s shite. So there you have it. He doesn’t need your money and you surely don’t need his music.
by Rory O'Keeffe
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