The Dubliner Magazine

Stones in Our Pockets - A Guide To Prehistoric Dublin

Dublin Zoo Kist Visitors to Dublin Zoo may ponder the origins of a clearly man-made stone structure at the back of the tapir and Patagonian mara enclosure. It is in fact a megalithic kist tomb relocated from nearby Chapelizod, where extensive evidence of the earliest settlers has been uncovered. This prehistoric burial chamber stands about 1.3m tall. Parallel upright wall stones support a large flat slab, forming a table-like structure positioned over a thin stone floor. The resulting tiny chamber contained either cremated or intact bodily remains. Few visitors are aware of this remnant of pre-history and for the moment it serves as a scratching post for the tapirs and a rainy-day shelter for the little maras.

Taylorsgrange ‘Brehon’s Chair’ Portal Tomb Just off the M50 near Rathfarnham stands one of the largest portal tombs in Ireland. The three remaining stones reach a height of 3.5m and each weigh several tonnes. Were the capstone still in place, the whole edifice would stand 5m tall. The stone configuration roughly resembles a chair, prompting the noted artist Gabriel Beranger to describe it in 1776 as “the seat of judgement for the Arch Druid.” Archaeological excavations have confirmed it as an early-Bronze Age passage tomb; charcoal and cremated bone were found inside. Sadly it’s difficult to gain access as it’s beyond the security gates of a housing estate – it has been commandeered by local children as a den. 

On Your Bike!

Yet another car door is blindly opened in the path of a free-wheeling Trevor White. He decides to have a rant

Motorists are remarkably impertinent. Despite constituting a very real threat to their own welfare, to pedestrians, to cyclists and to the environment – in other words, a very real threat to everyone – they still lecture people who ride bicycles on the etiquette of getting from A to B.

Hence our newspapers are full of windy missives from Irate of Killiney, on the menace that cyclists apparently represent. In a sane world such menaces would be locked up.  But this, as we well know, is not a sane world. Hence drivers think it perfectly normal to behave like lunatics, indeed to accuse cyclists of madness, when in fact it is the other way around. Compared to motorists, cyclists are moral angels.

Some years ago a Dutch ambassador to Ireland was asked, on the eve of his return to Holland, to say what most surprised him about Dublin. “That’s easy,” he said. “The contempt with which your motorists treat your cyclists.” That rudeness is officially sanctioned. Indeed despite the fact that there are now two Irish government ministers who cycle to work, cyclists are discouraged at nearly every turn.

The Year in Pictures

One hundred thousands words from around the world

From lightning storms in volcanoes to jetpacks and Kiwi mountains, this year has seen some crazy stuff. Just witness the year in pictures at Boston.com

The Selfish Guide to the Christmas

Cian Hallinan's pointers for the three day claustrophia-fest

You may be a bit late getting your presents, but don't forget that the modern Spar or Centra is equipped with a wide variety of possible gifts and wonderful staff who don't care a whit about the birth of the baby Jesus.

When pulling crackers, make sure your arm is lower than your partner's and your chance of getting the larger part of the spoils immediately shoots up. You never know when you might need a plastic spinning top, a keyring torch or a deck of miniature cards.

When the other maniacs in your family drive down to the Forty Foot for some traditional hypothermia, now's your chance to raid the cabinet for a steeling blast of brandy to get you through the day.

Don't concede the point that tryptophan's somnambulant effect is a myth - pretend to fall asleep the second washing up is mooted. Miraculously arise the moment the last knife is dried and lay into the Roses like a greedy Lazarus.

Playing with children - nieces, nephews, babies, whatever - is another surefire way of dodging festive duties too. Just dangle something shiny in front of their face (keys, ornament, carving knife etc) while watching the box and you'll escape having to drive your auntie to Mass in favour of seeing Pierce Brosnan shoot some lad's head off.

And remember, the Christmas is a great time to forget about health fads, diets or regimes. By the end of Xmas eve, the younger parties should all be gathered around the kitchen drinking meths, swallowing Quality Street with the wrappers on and smoking everything that can burn.

In Defence of Cyclists

Believe it or not, Dublin is one of the world’s best cities for cycling. Mind you, it’s not that easy to stay alive on a bike. fiona ellis makes the case for the two-wheeled menace.

We’re crazy beautiful things with buns of steel. We own trousers that are wipe clean and we have the ruddy glow of small, fat children as we fly by on two wheels. We are, of course, Irish cyclists. 

With the new Cycling Incentive coming into effect this month, we hope to see a lot more two wheelers on the roads. In 1991 about five per cent of people cycled to work, but since then cycling has been steadily declining as a form of transport. Today the figure is just 1.9 per cent. That’s bad news for several reasons.

Cyclists are combating the two main scourges of the modern world: global warming and obesity.  On a bicycle, you can travel up to 1037km on the energy equivalent to a single litre of petrol; not bad considering your heart is your motor. And if you worry about inhaling fumes stuck behind Dublin buses, don’t: cyclists actually absorb four times less pollutants from traffic fumes than drivers. So get those legs pumping with a clear conscience – and have your cake and eat it. (Obesity is the curse of the age, leading to diabetes, heart disease, strokes and cancer. Cycling is the arch nemesis of all these conditions.)

Dubliner's Dublin - Blanchardstown

NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH The Shopping Centre, an ever-expanding collection of retail outlets on the other side of the N3. The vast suburb is located 10km north-west of Dublin city and covers most of the An Post postal district, Dublin 15. It’s the largest urban area to be administered by Fingal County Council, itself the fastest growing ‘county’ in Ireland. Until the 1980s Blanchardstown was a quiet village surrounded by farmland. Today, it has a population of over 100,000 and is home to eBay, Google and other household names.

HISTORY Named after the local estate belonging to the Anglo-Norman Blanchard family, who were granted these lands around 1250. In 1385 the name of the district was recorded in contemporaneous records as Villa de Blanchard. Much of present-day Blanchardstown was once covered by a dense forest stretching from the River Tolka to beyond Coolmine and known locally as the Great Scaldwood. The wolves and wild boar that roamed there were enthusiastically hunted by local landowners.

PROPERTY Yes, you’ve guessed it – prices are falling. Quaint cottages in the centre of the lovely old village are still being snapped up for €600,000, and three and four-bedroom semis are commanding around €500,000 each. However, new apartments are losing value rapidly.

My Dublin: Tom Mathews

Where Do You Like To Eat?
In the last ten days, I’ve eaten at l’Gueuleton and Harvey Nichols. I don’t do cafés or quick bites. I never liked coffee. If I’m drinking a pint, I’m much happier.

Do You Cook?
Yes I do. I’ve just made myself a big stew. I like to go to small, local shops – you get much better value.

Where Do You Go For A Pint?
My favourite bar is Grogan’s. On a Saturday, I go to Doheny & Nesbitt’s or if I’m feeling extra fancy, I go to Neary’s and have an Irish coffee. All three of those pubs have something in common: no TV or loud music. Public houses are for socialising and talking. You can’t carry on a conversation with the music blaring.

Where to Dump Your Lover

The Considerate Dump Dundrum Food Court Access to public transport (Luas, bus, parking), so if things don’t go as you had imagined you can make a swift getaway. And, it’s as public as you can get, which might keep swearing down. But, there’s a strong chance that someone you know, innocently making their way to H&M, will witness the carnage.

The Carefully-Planned Dump Hodges Figgis Lots of easy segues into that difficult conversation. For example, casually wander into the self-help section and pick up If We’re So In Love, Why Aren’t We Happy? Open up with, “You know, I’ve been thinking a lot about us...” It’s very quiet, which will either make the dumpee embarrassed to get vocal, or mutate into some public humiliation for both of you.

Dubai or not Dubai

Sand conditioning

The earth is rapidly melting and the global economy is falling faster than Donald Trump's toupee on a windy day, but our friends in the Middle East seem to be taking it all in their stride.

A Dubai hotel is installing the word's first refrigerated beach to keep the tootsies cool of its sandalless patrons. Using "cooling pipes under the sand and wind blowers to produce a soft sea breeze", global fat cats will be able to bestride the ersatz paradise, safe in the knowledge that their carbon footprint will be painfree.

Talk about selling refrigerated sand to the Arabs.

Offaly Nice

Views and reviews

"Corrigan is one of the most emotional and intuitive chefs. His skill isn’t learnt, it’s felt. His dishes are all big, tempest-tossed bodice-rippers, and this menu has got to be the best Mills & Boon I’ve seen this year."

AA Gill waxes lyrical about the eclectic talents of Irish chef Richard Corrigan.

 And then compares his linguine to "drunk's puke".