The Dubliner Magazine

Roofies on Fire

Gangsters ruin drugs for everybody

Dublin may have been voted the friendliest city in Europe for the second year running, but it might be getting a little too friendly soon, so watch out.

 80,000 Rohypnol tablets were stolen from the Baldoyle Industrial Estate this morning. Known as the date-rape drug, this is not something you really want to have falling into your drink on a night out, particularly if you wanna wake up in your own house. Or own county.

So don't leave your drink unattended, don't get too friendly with strangers and watch out for fizzing in your Smirnoff Ice.

Incidentally Ryan Tubridy has replaced Pat Kenny as Late Late host in what we hope is unrelated news.

Win! Win! Win!

Swine Flu Hits the DART

If you think giving up your seat to a pregnant woman is bad...

You’re called what?!

Would the Beatles, U2 and Black Sabbath have made it big if they’d stuck with their original names, the Quarrymen, the Hype and Earth? Eleanor Fitzsimons looks at the origins of the monikers of ten Dublin (well, nine Dublin and one Kildare) bands

FIGHT LIKE APES
this band’s star has been on an upward trajectory since their formation in 2006. With two Meteor award nominations, a series of well received live performances and an acclaimed new album, Fight Like Apes and the Mystery of the Golden Medallion, the future looks bright. Their name comes from the 1973 sci-fi flick Battle for the Planet of the Apes, the band’s publicist told us. “Simian leader Caesar beseeches his army of gorilla fighters: ‘Now, fight like apes!’ at one point. A friend of Pockets [aka Jamie] actually came up with it but when it came to forming the band Jamie essentially stole it and so they became Fight Like Apes!” The band will play Oxegen in July. fightlikeapesmusic.com

Max McGuinness

For the first time in history, we have good reason to be pessimistic about the long-term future of humanity

Science and technology have always been synonymous with progress. Thanks to this fount of human ingenuity, in Western countries at least, men can look forward to long and prosperous lives, enjoying previously inconceivable levels of comfort and security. Less than 70 years ago, since antibiotics did not exist, a bout of pneumonia would typically have killed you and even the modest entertainment of the wireless, retailing at the equivalent of around €600 at current prices, was unaffordable to most. Today, scientists predict that average life expectancy in some countries could soar past 100 years this century while, thanks to Michael O’Leary, the delights of Aarhus, Gothenburg and Pula can be experienced for less than the price of a cup of tea.

Bid Business

Isn’t it odd that a practice used by the ancient Greeks to sell women and slaves has been revived by Internet sites like eBay?

Buying by auction is a more exciting way to shop, and gives the power back to the consumer. Our local auction houses are adapting to the surge in ‘ordinary’ customers, and now sell everything from cars to coins and property to paintings. Joanna Roberts hung out with three Dublin auctioneers to see what the view is like from the other side of the podium.

Eleanor Tiernan

The kids are alright. It’s the size of the ice creams we give them that’s all wrong

St patrick’s Day, 1997. I was working in a large, Irish-owned fast-food outlet in Eyre Square, Galway. Well, I say working – I was on probation until I proved myself to have the kind of character that could stand up to the drunks that patronise the restaurant at 4am. And I could. Drunks are my kind of people.

That day, as part of my ongoing training regime, I was instructed to work separately from the rest of the staff, manning the ice-cream counter at the front of the restaurant. St Patrick’s Day may be the busiest day for ice-cream sales in the country. At 11.30am, my first customer strolled in, a ten-year-old boy, and politely asked for a regular cone. My manager watched as I set about making his ice cream. I held the wafer under the tap, pulled the lever down and filled what I judged to be an appropriately-sized cone. I turned to hand the cone to the boy but before I could, my manager stopped me.

“That’s too big,” she said.