The Dublin Survival Guide

 5 Tips on How to Succeed in the Capital This Summer 

1. If you're riding the DART but have got an eggy-wufter locked and loaded in the chamber, remember to wait until you hit Booterstown to offload. Handily, the pong will be blamed on the marshes.

2. When walking along the canal, try to blend in by taking off your shirt, stumbling and flinging crushed cans of Dutch Gold at the swans and children in wetsuits.

3. No matter how hot it gets, avoid the Liffey boardwalk. The river will shortly solidify and an errant dirty syringe in your arse ain't gonna help.

4. Why not skip the inevitable larceny and head directly to the South Circular road to sell your bicycle for a pittance?

5. Remember! Spanish and Italian students are a handy source of mobile phones, gigantic yellow winter coats and headaches.

Comments

[Robin Celibataire]

:) Thanks for the tips!Especially the one with taking off the t-shirt to blend in.

[Ohlala]

Your gags suck.