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Cinema Review: Valentine's Day

Love Actually, except two months later ★★★
Out February 12th

Valentine

If you've never been to a press screening, let us paint you a quick picture: Small theatre, early in the morning, chilly. The reviewers – mostly 40-something men with 'personality' specs – arrive a minute before the film is due to start. No popcorn, no Revels, just strong coffee. They sit as far away from each other as possible, and engage in a bit of pre-match shouty banter about the overlooked 'levels' in Far & Away. Once the film starts, it's a competition to see who can sigh and shuffle in their seats the loudest (bad film), or guffaw and scribble notes with their lightsaber pens (good film). They often doze, take phone calls and – more often than you'd think – walk out before the end.

In other words, it's not a great atmosphere in which to see a film for the first time. Especially if it's Valentine's Day. This writer is a die-hard fan of rom-coms, and was perfectly willing to leave her brain at the door and enjoy the pretty people with their nice shoes and the fun times and the escapism. But Shuffles McTwitcherson, Squirmy Groansalot et al must have felt that by sitting quietly they would somehow be complicit in the film's success. Keep it down lads!

But back to the movie. It's not bad. It doesn't have the highs and lows of the classic rom com, and there are so many intertwining storylines that it's hard to care about any of the characters really. Some strange casting too – it seems like the producers rounded up whatever Hollywood stars were available (loads!) and shoehorned them into the available roles. It's very like Love Actually – there's even a running-through-the-airport scene and some cutesy little boy's first crush stuff – but an American version, aka less subtle. Having said all that, for fans of the genre there are much worse ways to spend 90 minutes. Look out for all the Pretty Woman references (same director).

February 03, 2010 |

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