... are coming like a ghost town
There are 620 'ghost estates' dotted around the motorways and national roads of our fair republic, massive concrete blights on our landscape that serve as a troubling testament to our recent greed and short-sightedness.
But what are we going to do with these monstrosities which are posing serious environmental and health dangers?
Here are some suggestions:
Turn them into urban paintball environments
Paintball has become the sport of choice for stags, office workers and closet rageoholics in recent times. Why not take advantage of this recent vogue and use our unused ghost estates as exciting urban scenarios for bored middle-class males? Experience the exhilarating rush of close-quarter skirmishes like Stalingrad, Basra or Berlin all from the comfort of our beautiful midlands.
Turn them into prison cells for light-fingered politicians
So Paddy O'Klepto TD has declared travel expenses on a second home in Mullingar or Marbella or Madagascar or somewhere and has been sinking state funds into his private horse ranch in Aruba. How are we going to punish him? With gruel, bad plumbing and a nice view of the N4.
Make developers sell their homes and live in them
You owe the Nationalised Irish Bank several million but you still drive an Aston Martin and live in a six-bedder in Ranelagh? Welcome to your new home on the outskirts of Longford town. Thanks for the sponds back.
Give ghost town tours
The Dublin Ghost Bus Tour seems to be popular and American ghost town tours have been attracting visitors for years now. So why don't we get in on the act?
American and Japanese tourists can roam Westmeath and Longford in open-top buses and snap away as they see where Jamesie Connor once sold three fields for 3 billion euro and a pack of Major back in the old gold prospecting days of 2004.
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